If you’ve ever had a friend dump you out of the blue, leaving you wonder “Was It Something I Said?” you’ll relate to Claire Murphy’s letter as she wrestles with her feelings after being drop-kicked by “the mean girl”…
“You have moved on. This I know. Still, I can’t help but wonder: Did the end of our friendship cause you a single moment’s sadness? Did you lose even an hour’s sleep? If you knew how many nights I used to lie awake wondering what I did, what I said to cause you to drift away, you’d probably…I don’t know. Laugh? Roll your eyes? Think I’m crazy? Because here’s where I get confused: There was no betrayal, no fight, no tears. One day our three-year friendship was just over. I still wonder, three years later: How could we have been friends-for-life one week and not speaking the next? You were–are–always the popular girl. At the top of everyone’s guest list. Me? I’ve always been squarely on the middle rung of the social ladder. Well liked, but certainly never the life of the party. You were–are–also the mean girl. I couldn’t admit it then, but I certainly witnessed it. You were utterly dismissive of people who didn’t measure up to your standards of cool and collected. The messiness of the lives of people we both knew provoked nothing but scorn from you. Here’s what I think happened: When my own life started to get messy, and I trusted that I could reveal to you the difficulties I was facing, things shifted….”
CLAIRE MURPHY is the pseudonym of a writer who lives in the West. Her work has appeared in a variety of publications, including The New York Times and O.
Read more of Claire’s letter, and 35 others, in P.S. What I Didn’t Say: Unsent Letters to Our Female Friends, now available on Amazon!