author spotlight: Sophia Dembling

Ever had a friend “break up” with you out of the blue with no explanation? So did Sophia Dembling, as she explains in her witty letter “A Crime Against Friendship”…

“I think I know the day that marked the beginning of the end. You were newly pregnant, we took a walk in the park. I guess I said something that pissed you off. This doesn’t surprise me. I can be outspoken, insecure, even prickly. I’ve been known to blurt. Sometime after that day, I noticed a chill settling over our friendship, and I suspected right away that I’d overstepped somewhere. I brought it up more than once, begged you to tell me what I’d done. I offered blanket apologies. But you turned your polite smile on me and explained that you were just very busy these days. I scrounged around in my brain, trying to think of what I might have said to cause offense. I seem to remember expressing my fear, that day in the park, that once you had your baby we would drift apart, as had happened to me in other friendships. Babies are evidently a lot more interesting than friends. I was scared. Was that it? Or was it the souvenir bracelet I brought you from my trip to New York, the one that said PRINCESS? I thought it was funny, that it was the kind of joke you might make about yourself. Perhaps you took offense? Or maybe it wasn’t just one thing. Maybe it was an accumulation of errors. Maybe I’d been rubbing you raw for a while. If so, you never let on. I had no idea. And when I sort through our past–as I did for a long time after the fact–I still can’t figure out what terrible thing I did. All these years later, though, I no longer care. Because whatever crime against friendship I may have committed, it was petty compared to yours. Our friendship was wounded, and rather than rendering aid, you stepped back and watched it die…”

SOPHIA DEMBLING lives in Dallas and is the author of the The Yankee Chick’s Survival Guide to Texas. Her work has been included in Cat Women: Female Writers on Their Feline Friends (Seal Press, 2007), The Best Women’s Travel Writing 2006, and The Best Women’s Travel Writing 2009. Sophia has had hundreds of articles and essays published in newspapers and magazines. She also blogs at as well as her on her own website,

Read the rest of Sophia’s letter, and 35 others, in P.S. What I Didn’t Say: Unsent Letters to our Female Friends, now available on Amazon!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s